Musings of Julia, Senator Kennedy and Crossroads

I've been thinking. About my blogs. My plays. My cooking. My life. Can I change what I want to be when I grow up? I construct blogs in my head. And discard them. I write down snippets of plays on an errant piece of paper which floats away. My thoughts float with them. They escape and I begin again. I wonder at new beginnings at this time in my life.
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Senator Edward Kennedy died today. A deeply flawed man. The end of the Kennedy era. A progressive era. As a grade schooler, I certainly remember President's Kennedy's death. It's a benchmark for my generation. As an early McGovern support in my teens and later a 'Robert Kennedy for President' supporter, the assassinations remain fresh in my mind. In both cases I can see the room where I heard the news. Hear the people speaking in muffled tones. Feel the confusions in my veins. It is permanently etched.
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As I grew, the scandals and tragedies that followed Senator Kennedy were of no interest to me. Somewhat judgmental, I ignored the headlines and the politician. I was not interested in the bad-boy behavior of a grown man. As an actress, I landed a temporary gig working for CBS News during the 1980 Democratic Convention. (You will note that most of my jobs as an actress did not involve the stage!) I had a press pass, "played" at being a reporter and was ushered into a room with Joan and Edward Kennedy. I was young and determined not to be impressed. I was impressed. By what? By a politician's rhetoric? No. By their vulnerability. Both of them. There was a brief statement. Very brief. And a little chat. No spin. That would come later. I never forgot the quiet, pleading look in their eyes - before it was showtime.
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I've brushed my shoulders with a number of famous people. Clumsily serving chocolate cake to Robert De Niro, gushing over Tennessee Williams, standing slack-jawed in front of George Cukor. (The by-product of being a waitress; another non-stage job during my "acting" years.) I never found the witty remark or sought to get their attention. Well, I did gush over Tennessee and he hugged me. In his white suit complete with his requisite panama hat, he deigned to hug a greasy waitress.
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I'm flitting. How I connect Edward Kennedy and Julia Child seems to result from a short in my brain. To me, this all makes sense. As the years passed, I would take notice of some legislation Senator Kennedy passed. It was always on the side of those who came into life with fewer advantages than he. He remained a progressive. He boozed and chased skirts. Chappaquiddick would forever be his legacy. Yet he put it all aside when the Senate was in session. He made sure his laws were worthy - even if his behaviour was not. And then something happened. Was it his new wife? His age? Or life? And he settled down to be a good senator. And a good senator he was. A life-long Democrat, he had no problem crossing the dreaded party line to work in a bi-partisan fashion to get laws passed.
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He was as effective in a Republican senate as in a Democratic one. In his later years, he became the man that was earlier expected of him. A wealthy man who believed in giving voice to those who had none: the uninsured, the mentally ill, children, immigrants. He's been waging a war for health care for all - for over thirty years. And for me - the interesting thing is - his most effective years were in the last third of his life. To be sure, he passed worthy laws earlier, but it wasn't until his later years that he was finally able to fit into the shoes of an elder statesman and wear them well. He was given time - something his brothers were not and he used it well.
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I think of my fleeting middle age, (AARP has claimed me as one of their own), on how people can make an impact later in life - how they still can still come into their own. Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking was not published until she was 48. It would be two more years before The French Chef would be televised. Why does my mind stray from Senator Kennedy to Julia Child? The common denominator is minuscule. They are both currently in the news.
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I am at a crossroads in my life when I thought my "crossroad" years were over. I have not been thrilled with being back in the crossroads. I would have preferred to have made my crossing years ago and to spend these years building in my new place. I've started over before. I am not sure I am ready to again. But I find comfort that the legacy Julia Child left is from the last half of her life. And that a frat-brat senator can use his later years to become the Lion in the Senate.

End-of-summer musings. Wondering what is next. When I cross over, what will I find?